My sweet boy turned FOUR on May 25th. I'm still catching up on pictures but here are some birthday shots from the last few years.
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
And, now...he's FOUR! 
Lot's more pictures to come :)
Posted in: on Tuesday, June 7, 2011 at at 9:53 AM 1 comments
I just finished reading books to Logan and putting him to bed, and this was our conversation:
L: "Mommy, when I'm 4, will you still be my Mommy?"
K: "Of course! I'll be your Mommy when you're 4, 10, 20, 30, 45, and 62. I'll always be your Mommy."
L: "But, what if you die?"
K: "Well, if I die, I'll be in Heaven, but I'll still be your Mommy."
pause
K: "Just like Granddad is still my Daddy even though he is in Heaven."
L: "But, what if I have to tell you something?"
K: "If you have to tell me something, I will listen. I'll always be here with you and I'll always be able to hear you."
L: "I want to tell Granddad something."
K: "Okay, tell him. He can hear you."
L: "Granddad! I love you and I miss you!!" (Loudly)
then whispers to me "see, I told him and I didn't even wake Graham up!"
K: "And, he heard you and he misses you too."
long pause
L: "But, what if you die and we're all still here?" (meaning him, Graham and Daddy)
K: "If I die and all of you are still here, I'll be in Heaven but I'll see everything you do and I'll always be with you. I promise."
Wow. Along with the age of (almost) 4 comes lots of tough questions.
Posted in: on Friday, May 20, 2011 at at 8:17 PM 0 comments
Last weekend was the most beautiful weekend. Ever. It was gorgeous outside and we took full advantage of it. I always sew on Saturday mornings, but I took a break for a picnic lunch on a blanket in the backyard. After I wrapped things up, we took a walk and and relaxed in the yard. It was so nice just to sit and catch up with Shane and play with the boys after such a busy week. And, what a wonderful thing to be able to just sit and enjoy our beautiful yard and our sweet boys.
I was looking through all of the pictures and I was blown away by how much alike Graham and Logan look in this picture! The way their heads are tilted, the half smiles, the eyes....it's amazing! I didn't think they looked this much alike!
I love this picture of them all in a big heap :)
Sweet Graham (7 months)
On Sunday after church we ran home, changed clothes, grabbed our picnic lunch and headed to the park! We had a wonderful afternoon of bike riding, soccer playing, kit flying, lounging...it was awesome. Such a beautiful day. We even took Logan to get frozen yogurt afterwards. He loved it!
We've been playing catch up on house work and laundry all week, but having some uninterrupted family time was soooooo worth it. I love my boys!! I also have to say that my husband is amazing. Amazing. He's been doing double duty these days in order for me to maintain my business and get orders out on time. Everyone always tells me that they don't know how I find time to do it. I say that 1-I don't sleep and 2-I have an amazing husband :)Posted in: on Thursday, May 19, 2011 at at 8:43 PM 0 comments
Today it has been 7 months since my Dad passed away. There is a song that's popular on country radio (A Little Bit Stronger, by Sara Evans) that I find myself listening to over and over these days. It's about a breakup, but I feel such a connection to the heartbreak in the words....
Woke up late today
and I still feel the sting of the pain
but I brushed my teeth anyway.
I got dressed through the mess,
and I put a smile on my face.
I got a little bit stronger.
I know my heart will never be the same,
but I keep telling myself I'll be okay.
Even on my weakest days,
I get a little bit stronger.
Seven months. Sometimes I think how can it have been that long? He was just here. Just here with us. Just here. And then other days, I think about all that he has already missed. How many things have changed in these past seven months. I look at Graham and wonder if he sees him. Does he see him growing and changing? Can he hear Logan and how much he is talking now? How descriptive he is? Can he see how hard I'm working? My business? How it's growing? I know he would be proud. IS proud.
I snapped at someone a few weeks ago. Not meaning to really, but I had just heard the same thing one too many times. She said, "Well, at least you and your Mom have each other. You can comfort each other and be together." I know that she meant well, just as I know everyone else who has said similar things to me over the last seven months means well. But, I couldn't help but say, "Yes, that is great BUT...she is not my Daddy. I am not her husband." Most of you know that my Mom and I are best friends and a wonderful source of comfort for each other, but that doesn't take away from the extreme sense of loss we both (we all) feel. The sense of disappointment. The sense of just feeling ripped off. I know that people say things for many reasons. They want you to look at the positive side of things. They want to feel like they've said something that helped you. Take it from me and don't say things like this to people when they're experiencing something like this. Just say what a terrible loss it is and move on. Tell a story about the person who passed away. Tell them why you loved him or her. Or, just say you're sorry, but don't try to make them see the positive side of it. It makes me feel like I'm not allowed to grieve or that it's not okay to talk about how crappy it is and how much I miss him. Don't get me wrong, I'm a positive person and I DO amazingly see many blessings that have come from Dad getting sick and passing away. But, none of them bring him back and none of them take away my grief.
Logan still talks about him regularly. For months, he'd ask about him every day and talk about how sad he was that he died. Last week, he shared with me a true memory of him. It was beautiful. We took the boys to the columbarium on Easter Sunday and Logan talked to Granddad. He told him he missed him and that he loved him. He said Happy Easter. And, I held it together and didn't cry. I got a little bit stronger.
Posted in: on Wednesday, April 27, 2011 at at 10:48 PM 2 comments
Memaw and Graham Logan hunting for eggs on his school playground
Logan and Katelyn (my SIL's sisters daughter) It was really cute to see them together :)
Mommy and Logan riding the Easter train
Here's a random picture of Graham taken from the week just because I thought it was cute! And, yes, we cloth diaper :)
Logan with the Easter Bunny
Logan with Grandpa and Grandma
He didn't forgot Graham! He brought him the new light up car toy. (Yes, I am wearing my Christmas pj's. Don't laugh at me.)
Easter Sunday we went to church as a family and then over to my Mom's for lunch. We HAD to make the bunny cake which is a family tradition. I'll have to find some pictures of early bunny cakes and post them because I've been doing this every Easter for as long as I can remember. 
Uncle Marty and Graham
Posted in: on at at 12:52 PM 0 comments
Logan says the funniest things, and I swore that I was going to start writing them down! Today, while riding home from preschool listening to the radio... Logan: Mommy, what does ra mean? Me: Ra? Logan: Yes. Ra. Me: Ummm...that's not a word Logan: What does she have a ticket to then? Me: (laughing really hard) She's got a ticket to RIDE! (singing) Logan: Oh! Can you turn it up? We were listening to The Beatles :) Ha ha ha....who knew he paid such close attention to songs?
Posted in: on Tuesday, April 12, 2011 at at 2:33 PM 0 comments
Tonight, Logan's preschool had a fund raiser (they are non-profit) Art Show for the kids. It was adorable! They sold pizza/drinks/cookies to raise money and you could "buy" your child's artwork. They had the lobby set up like a museum with all of the artwork displayed. They also had more artwork and pictures from all of the events and parties during the year up in the classroom for everyone to look at. Looking back at some of the pictures of Logan from the Fall, we couldn't believe how much he's grown. Just in the last few months he has turned into this big boy. His face is slimmer and just looks so much more mature. Where did my baby go?
Logan with his two teachers Mrs. Webb and Mrs. West. They are awesome!!
Showing Grandma and Grandpa something in his classroom
More artwork: The polar bear is his
Posted in: on Thursday, April 7, 2011 at at 9:40 PM 1 comments
