Whew.
So, here's what I'm thinking. We should come up with a new Olympic sport called "Toddler Diaper Changing." For those of you who have never changed the diaper of a 16 month old, let me give you a play by play. First, you lift the child that is over 20 pounds onto the changing table. (This is not an easy task since they have now learned what this means and start screeching and resisting.) But, once on the table they immediately stand up and try to take things off of the shelf above. Once you finally get them laying down, their legs fly straight up and start kicking. They, by the way, think all of this is hilarious. Once you have finally pinned the wild man down, you have to attempt to remove a diaper filled with poop-again. And, of course he is reaching down because apparently he thinks that there is a penis thief and he must check every chance he gets to make sure that his penis is still there. Okay, so now you're trying to keep him laying down, keep his hands out of the poop, and wipe at the same time. Meanwhile, singing The Wheels on the Bus at the top of your lungs complete with the hand motions. Do I look like an octopus??? Okay, finally, the poop is cleaned off. But, now let me tell you-a naked baby is a baby that wants to be free so he is REALLY trying to get off the table now. The Wheels on the Bus stop working, and he begins flipping back and forth, back and forth. By this time, the poop is long gone but you're trying to put white sticky diaper cream all over his bottom. This, he wants no part of. By this time, you've resorted to a firm "Be Still" and when that doesn't work "BE STILL!" and then when it still doesn't work, you attempt The Wheels on the Bus again just to keep yourself from going insane. Once the cream is applied, the clean diaper has to be put on (straight nonetheless or poop will creep out the side the next time he goes. And, there will be a next time. Soon.) At this point, you're so happy to just have a diaper on, you hoist him off the changing table and commit to putting his pants back on later. Whew.
Posted in: on Saturday, October 4, 2008 at at 7:53 AM
