Two years ago right now I had no idea for what I was in for. My contractions started around 1am. I can remember waking up and watching the clock and thinking, "Yup-10 minutes apart." (This was nothing new to me since I had been having regular contractions for several weeks. However, I began to get a little uneasy when 10 minutes turned into 8 minutes, and 8 minutes turned into 6 minutes.) I think it was around 4:45am and the contractions were around 5 minutes apart when I finally awoke my sleeping husband. I had quarantined him to the guest bedroom since pregnancy had made me such a light sleeper and I could not stand his snoring. I had finally decided that he should not be allowed to sleep while I was in so much pain!
As we were walking in circles around the living room and taking warm baths to try to ease the contractions (I was only 36 weeks so it was not "time" yet...) I began to wonder what my baby boy would bring? What will become of him and I? Will I love him as soon as he is born and know that he is mine? And, gasp...What will become of his Daddy and I? Will we turn into one of those couples who can think of nothing else to discuss but our child? Will there still be a 'me' in the equation of wife and mother? So many things were spinning through my head as my contractions got stronger and stronger.
Looking back over the last 2 years, I have been blessed to feel the joy that comes in knowing as soon as I saw him that, Yes, he is mine. And, the immediate knowledge that, without question, I would slay dragons (or NICU nurses) to make sure that he is healthy and happy. I felt the pain of leaving a hospital without my baby boy and the joy of finally getting to bring him home. I have seen him grow from the tiniest little thing to this strapping little boy who is jumping off furniture. And every once in awhile, we have to stop and remember that all of this is truly amazing.
And, that couple-the optimistic one awaiting the birth of their first child-are still here. They had dinner tonight in a real restaurant and discussed life and changes and the beautiful, memorable ups and downs over the last six years of their marriage. If I could go back and talk to that woman pacing the floors and timing her contractions, I'd tell her to slow down and enjoy the ride. It might get bumpy but it sure is beautiful. You cannot plan for the highs or plan for the lows, but you will ride through them and you will be stronger and better for them. I know that these 2 years are only a drop in my bucket of parenthood. So, I only hope that when it is 22 instead of 2 and we're celebrating our 26th wedding anniversary, that I can look back on the years and know that we truly lived enjoying each day the way we have during these first few years of Logan's life. Because for that joy, I will always be eternally grateful. And, I do believe that if I could have had a crystal ball 2 years ago, it would have made labor that much sweeter.
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Sunday, May 24, 2009
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11:44 PM
Amen! Happy Birthday Logan & Happy Anniversary to the happy parents :) Miss you guys!
LOVE all that you said. I sat here crying as I read it! It is always good to take a minute and enjoy the ride and be so thankful for the blessings that we have been given.